But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
