i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize