new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
