i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
