Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
