yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize