yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
