I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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