cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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