It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
