I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
