My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
