Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
