I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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