so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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