I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
