please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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