He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
