Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
