Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize