Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize