Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
