You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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