What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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