My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
