She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
