If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
