I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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