see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
