i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
