She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
