We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
