I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
