i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm at about main and main street
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
