She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
