i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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