Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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