you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize