he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
