dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
