i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The Olympian is in my bed
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Congratulations! We have a period
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
