I can text with my tongue
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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