Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
