You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
