I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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