turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
