its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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