i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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