Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wear drunk well.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
