Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
