you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
