Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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