Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
