I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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