I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize