i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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