loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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