I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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