dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
