I'm drive I can fine osifer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize