just tell him i said nine months
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There r osticjed everywhere
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
