You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
