I just made out with a guy for $7.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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