I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize