I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
