Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
