I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
