You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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