why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
