You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
